Elizabeth Caputo: Trying To Make Sense

Recent Hints

I wish direct communication were possible. But I don't have her number. And I can't go to her events. But I don't feel a sense of closure either. There are still hints here and there. Her attitude has always been, it happens during face time or not.

Justin Krebs showed up on his own at the Al Franken event. I have a feeling that might have been a response to this: Caputo: Closure? He must be like, wait a minute, I might have acted a little bit of an asshole on day one for two seconds, but I was there. Something did happen.

Months and months after day one, I am at Rudy's, and a Brooklyn woman gets drunk and throws herself on a Manhattan Kombiz, and Justin and friends have to escort her to a cab outside. He comes back, and shares the story, and looks at me puzzled. Why did a fancy banker, Upper West Side, Manhattan woman throw herself at you on day one? Who are you? Where are you from? He looked genuinely puzzled. And she was not even drunk.

Well, Justin, what happened was Brooke Ellison happened. She saw me talk to Brooke Ellison, and she fell for me. Brooke Ellison happened to her, black guy running for Governor happened to me.

Ben was there at the Chinatown party: Drinking Liberally, 2nd Annual Fundraiser, Chinatown. He is like, how about a brunch for a first date? Sex happens on the second date. He was talking of elephants and horses and an Indian wedding ceremony he recently went to. "There was no elephant." That felt surreal to me. Was that his response to my coffee talk?

At the Washington governor event at Opal, a venue suggested by me at my blog long months back at the Rangel event, she placed three strikes on me: Carolyn, Jennifer and the Bombay Palace woman. I placed one strike on her at the Planned Parenthood event. The blog entry for that day has been a major marker in time. Caputo before and after. She kept throwing hints. The Bombay Palace woman was a hint, the one who said "The event has not started yet." Jennifer was strategically planted on the street around 6 PM of the Arianna event.

Finally I have apologized for my bad conduct on February 7. And it has been a week. How do you know if the apology worked or not?

So you threw the hint at the Bombay Palace event, and the Arianna event, and I got it, and I apologized.

Closure

Is it possible that it is over before it began? I have been seeking relationship advice from some random, and some not so random people. One was, do you know if she is not married, does she have a ring? Another was, it is possible she found someone else in the mean time. A third was, an average date in NYC lasts two months. Yet another was, people in Manhattan are fully career oriented, there is no time for love. One was, just drop it. Another: if you really like her, never say never, never give up, keep trying.

She was single on day one. She was single at that summer bash where I got a "China and Africa" message. She was single at the Holiday party. She was single on February 7. She was single at the Bombay Palace event. The venue was a response to my calling her queen. She was single at the Arianna event, or she would not have planted Jennifer on the street, and the white guy at th door. That was her caring too much for me. It is possible she found someone else after the Arianna event, entirely possible. But how likely is that? But I am happy for anyone who can find love, like Bruce Willis once said. The founding fathers might have also said it.

Some Scenarios

Did I come too strong? Did I go too far with my poetry? I'd like to believe not. I wanted to make it absolutely clear that I liked her, and to the extent I did.

Was the president talk something outlandish? I have thought of that some times. Of all the biggies I have come to know in the Manhattan political circles - Lewis Cohen, Tracey Denton, Kristina Hoke, Justin Krebs, Dave Pollak - Caputo is the only one who has come across to me as someone who could some day run for major office. I have a feeling the rest are not even going to run, like never. That is my political observation. That is not a potential relationship observation. Actually I have been so detailed with my president talk for her, that if we were to go out, I would ask her point blank, tell me without thinking about it at all, tell me, do you see yourself running for office down the line? If she says no, I'd be like, drop it. I will not bring this up again.

But work and career have to be talked about. Months and months back when she was like, you are a blogger, and that is enough, I am like, no, I want you to take interest in the cutting edge work I have been doing for Nepal, and the big tech plans I have. My idea of unconditional love is not that you get to suggest I am some kind of a career loser, and that is still okay. I will go pound to pound with you on the money: I just need a few years.

At the Texas debate watch party, when she said "you are delusional," that so pissed me off. I thought she was disrespecting my dreams, and was suggesting it was outlandish of me to write she was going to be president some day. At the spy event she made it clear she was not referring to my dreams, but rather to my reaction to the mandatory coat check at the Holiday party. That little gesture on her part opened up the poetry floodgates.

The Bombay Palace event was a slap in my face. The Planned Parenthood event was supposed to be that big day when we talked and hooked up. But you turned it into such an anticlimax. Now take this. I will build you up, and then I will have you thrown out. We are even now.

I don't feel like I came too strong. She is an intense, aggressive woman herself. Did I talk outlandish career talk? That talk can not have harmed things. She is the one who tried to get her picture taken with that young Pakistani girl. As for my company, I am talking big. I came to NYC for this company. You don't have to run for president if you don't want to, but I am not about to start talking small about my young company.

February 7

I messed up on February 7. Me talking suggestive about her Hispanic dude friend was a major gender trigger to her. But I hope that helps her understand my triggers: the KY/IN trigger on day one, the don't-touch-me trigger which actually was an I-am-going-to-become-Condi threat, and the mandatory coat check trigger.

Dinner

Ms. Caputo, how about dinner?

Earthen Oven (Indian)
53 West 72 St
(at Columbus Ave)
New York, NY 10023
Ph: 212-579-8888
Hours:
Lunch11:30 AM - 3:00 PM
Dinner5:00 PM - 11:00 PM

People, Computers

She is amazing at 5.0. (Web 5.0: Face Time) People are to her what computers and the internet are to me. If I were to get together with her, I would get super active with DL21C. I would seek a fresh start, clean slate with every DL21C person who pissed me off, and who I have pissed off. But they will have to understand I have not been in a very social phase of my life the past few years. I was doing cutting edge work in the 2.0 environment. I don't apologize for the work I did: Nobel Peace Prize 2008: Making A Case For Nepal (2). I had time and space to date her, but not any social space to get active with the DL21C, or get to know the people around her. Now I am eager to become a people person. It is not bye bye 2.0, it is more like, there is no 2.0 without 5.0.

Yellow Roses, Apology Card

Those were delivered, thanks to Arianna. But that was over a week ago. Am I to send another batch of flowers? Flowers feel good.

This Is Not A Crush, And I Am No Stalker

We have never formally hooked up, but we have been exploring since day one.

Tracey Denton, Al Benninghoff
Haiku
The Jewish Angst
Apology
Liberal Guy Justin Krebs Is A Poet
Looking At White Women: The Search For Vocabulary
Louisiana Senator Event: Crime Scene
Caputo: Closure?
Brooklyn Is Africa, Queens Asia, Bronx Latin America, Manhattan Is Europe
April 29: Arianna
Gender Talk: Coming At It From The Future
Skyward Bound
Philly Debate: Quick Impressions During
Nobel Peace Prize 2008: Making A Case For Nepal (2)
Sexism Bothers Me Directly
How to Tame a Free Spirit
Nobel Peace Prize 2008: Making A Case For Nepal
Two New Chapters
Nepal Votes
Some Reflections: Three Years In NYC
In Anticipation
Political Sci-Fi
I Am Different
I Am A Buddhist Like Richard Gere
I Dedicate This City To You
Love Is The Reason
CSC
New York City's Progressive Galaxy
Blueprint For DL21C: Party Inside A Party
Tera Saath Hai To Mujhe Kya Kami Hai
Yellow Rose
Yellow Rose To Reclaim
Confronting My Own Demons
Satyagraha, Day 1
Barack In Town With South Asians For Obama: March 27
Declaring Satyagraha On The DL21C White Establishment
Eliot Spitzer Needs To Go Into Business With Me
CCC
Pained Spitzer Inflicts Pain On His Family
Pledge Of Allegiance
Madhesi Movement Victory In Nepal
Yellow Roses
Rabbits Birthing Rabbits
Going To Ohio
Texas Debate
Texas Debate Watch: Two Stops
Texas Debate Watch: Another Story In Indigntiy?
My Third World People Don't Get To Vote In This City
Wrong Circles
Three Very Different Worlds: Nepal, Obama, Startup
Mark Penn At Strand
Looking For 10 Ninja Women
Planned Parenthood: First Impressions
Message To Elizabeth Caputo: SOS Call
Planned Parenthood: A Different Kind Of Event
Tonic: What A Party
The Need For A Race Gender Coalition
A Vote For Barack Is Not A Vote Against Hillary
Building Social Muscles
Progressive Political Religion: No Place For Superpowers
An Ode To White Women: I Think I Am Going Hispanic
5.0 With Manhattan Organizations
Global Trafficking Of Women
Nobody Quite Like Benazir
How Ganesh Got His Elephant Head
Mother
It Is A RSVP: Here I Come DL21C
The Al Qaeda And Political Organizations In Manhattan
2.0 Penetrates DL21C
Martha Outed Kenton And Women With Issues
Spitzer Is Right, Albany Is Wrong
An Open Letter To Elizabeth Caputo
Iowa: One And A Half Victory Parties
2.0 Screen Time, 5.0 Face Time, Of Racialism, Progressive Group Dynamics
Benazir, One Whose Looks Have No Parallel
Benazir, Last Month
Benazir, Benazir
December Baby?
I Want To Join The DL21C Steering Committee
Holiday Party 4: Is This Where The Bingo Game Is At?
Sunday 8 PM, Holiday Party 4
The Doors: Out Of The Box Thinking
"Is This An Obama Party?"
December 18: Crash The Party
Tim Russert Measures Up
Barack In Boston
The 12 Year Itch
Barack, "He Walks Between Worlds"
Benazir Bhutto: No American Stooge
Benazir Should Address Many Mass Rallies, Hold No Street Events, Keep Tight Security Around Her House, Office
Benazir And Islamofascism
Burma: Time For Nonviolent Guerilla Warfare
The Largest Rally In US Presidential Campaign History
Tim Russert: Bill O'Reilly's Lower Case Cousin
Barack's Mother Makes An Appearance
David Paterson
DL21C Annual Summer Bash: Barack Won The Straw Poll
NYC, Obama, Structure, Me
Michelle Obama Is Just Fabulous
I Touched Obama: Babel, Barack
There Is An Albert Einstein On The Obama Campaign Staff
Wife Won't Do, Got To Court Women With Policy And Outreach
Terry McAuliffe: E=mc^2
Long Walk To Freedom
Long Walk To Freedom: Just A Third World Guy Dazzled By The City
Muscular Gender Agenda
7 Point Agenda For New York City
DL21C Events: High Class Acts
Jupiter And Obama
An Obama Administration
MYD, High Tech, High Touch
Laloo Yadav: Future Prime Minister Of India
Money And Manhattan
December 12 DL21C Bash
Kentucky Dude, November 29
Drinking Liberally: Session X
On November 7: In Harlem: For Obama
Democratic Vision For The 21st Century
Switching To Obama
"First Nancy Pelosi, Then Hillary"
Seaport Diwali
Hands Off Brooke Ellison

I Have A Blog

Events

Generation Obama Reception Hudson Terrace, Wednesday, May 21
Drinking Liberally, Rudy's, Thursdays
The Uprising Book Event - New York City, NY Riverside Church, May 30
Basement Bhangra SOBs, Thursday, June 5
Spontaneous Obama Nomination Spectacular Thursday, August 28




"He Has A Blog"

Yesterday Al introduced me to someone saying "He has a blog." (Tracey Denton, Al Benninghoff) I thought that was kind of interesting.

I prefer to call myself a digital democrat. My blog is not journalism. My blog is political action. Only I don't transport myself physically. I get in front of the right eyeballs through the online medium. If what you have to say is good enough, you can end up having major impact.

Nobel Peace Prize 2008: Making A Case For Nepal (2)

Otherwise everybody and their cousin has a blog these days.

Cloud Group Dynamics

Many Obama volunteers in NYC have stood confused by me. Where exactly does this guy stand in the hierarchy of things? That is like asking, who is the president of the internet?

In The News

Back off, Obama tells his wife's critics Los Angeles Times, USA

Rove's Latest Electoral Maps Have Clinton Stronger Than Obama ... ABC News
WRAPUP 1-Clinton to Obama: Not so fast Reuters
Clinton: ‘This Is Nowhere Near Over’ New York Times
Bihar Tubes to raise $50 mn from overseas market Economic Times
Obama, McCain Feud Continues Over US Policy on Talking to Despots FOXNews
Obama counters McCain on 'appeasment' Baltimore Sun
McCain continues foreign policy assault on Obama Boston Globe
Fight isn't over, says Clinton campaign guardian.co.uk
Polls: Clinton leads big in Ky., Obama modestly in Ore. CNN Clinton leads by 30 percentage points in Kentucky ...... Obama holds comfortable lead in Oregon ..... a 50 percent to 40 percent advantage over Clinton. ...... Obama spoke Sunday in front of what his campaign called his biggest audience to date -- 75,000 people on the banks of the Willamette River in Portland, Oregon. ....... Clinton's campaign also excludes caucus states in its popular vote count. ...... Obama leads Clinton in total delegates, 1,904 to 1,717 ...... eliminating income taxes for seniors making less than $50,000 a year. ...... The last time Oregon carried much weight in the primary season was in 1968

Obama Tries to Make Up With Florida TIME
poll: Obama jumps to 16-point lead over Clinton USA Today "his largest advantage over Hillary Clinton in Democratic voters' nomination preferences thus far, 55% to 39%

Tracey Denton, Al Benninghoff

Events

Downtown Forum: Candidates for Assembly & State Senate - DFNYC & MYD
Generation Obama Reception

Tracey Denton

Hello Tracey. It was so good to see you again after long. Quite an event you put together. Sorry I could not stay the entire time. I would very much have liked to. I had to leave at 2:30 to be some place at 3:00: the Columbus Circle Whole Foods.

I landed on NYC, DFNYC landed on me. A Deaniac is about to take over the White House so soon after Dean's floundering. Who could have thought?

I was impressed to see you were capturing the event on video. I hope you put the video out on Google Video for the world to see. It has confounded me for years now as to why the progressive organizations in the progressive capital of the world don't realize that they have a global audience out there for them. All events need to be videoblogged.

Just between you and me I have to admit that I have always been slightly uncomfortable around Dan Jacoby. He has always come across to me as someone who might once have been friends with Al Capone.

I like strong women. I have a thing for strong women. I think strong women are going to change the world. But they are going to have to, they will take over first.

Give me your friendship: I am going to do wonderful things for the women of the world. And I encourage you to invest in the round one of my startup. When I first made the offer, you could have come in at 2K. Now the minimum is 5K. Yes, my startup is doing well. Will grow your mo like crazy. I doubt you will come across a better investment opportunity for the rest of your life.

Kudos for the ornate venue for the event. It felt like I was in Europe somewhere. I have never been there, but you get ideas online.

Hello is to Howard Dean next time you see him.

Tracey Denton Of DFNYC

Al Benninghoff

Al. It is hard for anyone to fill Kristina Hoke's shoes, but I think you are doing a good job.

From you I learned for the first time that Dan Berger of DL21C had orchestrated an online campaign a month ago to get people to unfriend me on Facebook. That guy is out of his depth. I don't give a fuck about Charlie Rangel, do you? I am for a new, positive black identity. Barack is my kind of a black guy. Well, DL21C has 600 members on Facebook, I personally have 1200 friends on Facebook.

Thanks for saying I was welcome to come to all MYD events. I would like to come to as many as I can, time permitting. I have been to many when Kristina was running the show.

On Fri, May 16, 2008 at 1:10 PM, Paramendra Bhagat wrote:
> http://democracyforum.blogspot.com/2008/05/jewish-angst.html
>
> Dan Berger. I am busy forging a progressive coalition in the city that
> will go all the way to the White House. You don't want to work for
> Charlie Rangel forever. You want to work for me in a few years. For
> now give me a conversation, will you? How about Sunday?
>
> Let's do the progressive thing. Let's talk.
>

Polarization

DFNYC and MYD coming together is massive polarization in the city's progressive community. This is what DL21C gets for treating me like I were Salman Rushdie.

Caputo: Some Untold Details

Half the time I have not known if she was talking to me or reading my face.

"You should run." I just found a guy who thinks I should run for office.

"We just met." She said that after I stopped walking behind her as if to say, I need to go now.

"I don't give out my number" might have been her way of saying, you look pissed that I did not give you my number over email.

"I have not liked you before." That might have been to say Paramendra Bhagat has not liked me before. For the first time I am feeling like he really really likes me.

I said, well, I am emailing you because I thought you were looking great yesterday. She did write back a little later. She said to not send personal emails to her work email address. I asked if she had another email address. She sent me her AOL email address immediately.

I said you owe me a conversation. "What is your number?" she asked. She was reading my mind again. Your saying you want to talk to me is really you asking me for my number.

"Don't touch me!" was the I-am-going-to-become-Condi-Rice threat. That was in response to an email I had sent her that she misunderstood as me saying, please don't hit on me.

In The News

Obama expects more scrutiny of McCain MSNBC
Kennedy awaiting test results at Boston hospital The Associated Press
Same-Sex Marriage Ruling Makes Waves Washington Post
How Google's Friend Connect works guardian.co.uk
Obama-Clinton: Curb your enthusiasm? Baltimore Sun
Hillary Clinton remains in race but turns fire away from Barack Obama Times Online
Clinton plugs away as time grows short in race Reuters

Kennedy Remains Hospitalized After Seizure ABC News
Bush lectures Arab world on political reform, women's rights The Associated Press
Same-Sex Marriage Ruling Makes Waves Washington Post
Gay-marriage ruling splits faith leaders San Jose Mercury News
Obama, Clinton hone critique of McCain San Jose Mercury News
What should Obama do about the Clintons? Toronto Star
As Clinton chances wane, old slights come due Boston Globe
Obama's next challenge Los Angeles Times
GOP struggles to reinvent without losing itself The bad news has come from Illinois, Louisiana and Mississippi -- a string of unexpected Republican defeats in congressional elections that have prompted GOP leaders to say, with candor unusual in politics, that the party is facing an outright catastrophe this November. ...... "if we were a dog food, they would take us off the shelf" ...... McCain's approach -- tough on taxes, but receptive to immigrants and committed to easing global warming -- could help paint the GOP in new colors, more attractive to independent voters, Latinos and women. Some GOP leaders now say that by embracing McCain and his policy platform, Republicans would instantly "rebrand" and reinvigorate their party. ...... a Mississippi House seat once considered among the party's safest.
Will Obama claim a cultural war victory? Chicago Tribune
Top reasons Clinton should not get on dream ticket Chicago Tribune
Clinton soldiers on at Kentucky distillery Seattle Times
Clinton Tells Haters to Take a Hike FOXNews
Clinton Takes on 'Those People on TV' ABC News

Hillary Is All The Rage

Obama's nomination all but officially sealed up, her 20 million dollar loan barking loud, this woman Hillary Clinton looks all fired up and ready to go: she is on on all cylinders. Somebody tell her to slow down a bit. The end is near. And she might want to take a week off before she jumps onto the Obama bandwagon.

Hillary has come a long way as a person, and she has brought the women of America and the women of the world a long way with her. My favorite story about Hillary is she shows up in this remote village in India as First Lady and gets surrounded by the local women who tell her, you have no idea what it means to us that you are here.

Hillary is a complete woman. She has worked, she has raised a family. Some would say she has managed to raise a husband. As First Lady of Arkansas back in the 1980s she once said, "If I were to not kick Bill Clinton's ass every morning, he would not amount to anything."

We Can Put Hillary On The Ticket, But What Are We Going To Do With Bill Clinton?

Events

Downtown Forum: Candidates for Assembly & State Senate - DFNYC & MYD
Generation Obama Reception

In The News

Analysis: Obama reacts fast to Bush on diplomacy The Associated Press 2004, when Republicans portrayed John Kerry as irresolute and weak on national security. ....... Obama, appearing unusually feisty and at times sarcastic, led the countercharge himself. ....... replaces strategy and analysis and smart policy with bombast, exaggerations and fear-mongering ...... Swiftboat became part of the political vernacular. ..... "We have heard this foolish delusion before," Bush said. "As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is — the false comfort of appeasement.'"
Same-sex marriage ruling also a victory for SF mayor San Jose Mercury News
With Zimbabwe Presidential Run-Off Date Set, Tough Campaign Looms Voice of America
For Obama, Demographics May Be Key to the White House Forbes some rumors just don’t die—because he’s Muslim. ...... about 55% of whites born in 1943 or later reported that they had at least some black friends. The corresponding figures for those born between 1927 and 1942, and for those born between 1911 and 1926: 50% and 40%, respectively. The same studies found similar differences between cohorts in favoring or opposing desegregation. ......... today, about 95% of Americans tell pollsters that they would vote for a qualified black presidential candidate.
Clinton's 'Classy' Exit Strategy Newsweek She's letting go, and allowing--even encouraging--the general election to begin.
Obama Accuses Bush, McCain of Launching Divisive Attacks Voice of America
Clinton not entitled to veep spot Seattle Post Intelligencer In identity politics, ritualized indignation about imagined affronts is highly choreographed and hence predictable. ..... The female candidate is like all other candidates. This is what equality looks like -- life as an equal opportunity dispenser of disappointments. ...... Clinton has been carrying categories of voters that Obama has had trouble attracting.
A few reasons why Hillary Clinton still runs Los Angeles Times Clinton's grassroots supporters don't want her to quit ..... Women are so used to being told, 'No, you can't do that.' Sometimes it just takes the strength to keep doing it." ...... Both speeches were upbeat, high-energy affairs, tinged with optimism and no hints of resignation
Why Hillary Clinton will fight on CNN Hiroo Onoda was a second lieutenant in World War II who didn't surrender until 1974. ...... he carried on his war alone in the jungles of the Philippines for nearly thirty years after the rest of the world knew it was over.
Obama Should Run With Beaten, Unbowed Clinton: Margaret Carlson Bloomberg She's not nearly as grating as she used to be. ...... I'm able to resist the urge to see if there's something burning in the oven when she comes on television. ...... Now she's found a new identity with the anti-trade, beer-and-shot crowd, more coal miner's daughter than coal mine owner, after trying on unapologetic warrior chief, sensitive girl, and path-breaking change agent, sometimes all in a week. ....... The woman reveling in the election-night returns this week seemed closer to the real thing than any Hillary we have seen. ...... She's tried on Mrs. Bubba, and it works not only in Pennsylvania and West Virginia but with Bill; she hasn't been the center of his attention this much in a long time. ..... Confidantes say she dreads going back to the Senate

Haiku

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

I beat him
You should run
We just met

The Jewish Angst

Ants in the pants, Jewish angst, it's for real.

Me, NYC, Jewish Identity

There are more Jewish people in New York City than in Tel Aviv. The Jewish people feel more at home in NYC than at any other place on earth. That is the message I get.

That is curious. Because NYC is the first hometown I ever had, and I was past 30 when I got here. And it is to do with my background. Kathmandu was hostile to my Madhesi identity, Kentucky was hostile to my nonwhite identity.

Someone had to convince me to move to NYC. It was another Madhesi, a Goldman banker. "You will like it here," she said. Was she right.

There are 13 million Jewish people on the planet. There are 13 million Madhesis on the planet. Jesus was a Jew. Buddha was a Madhesi.

I was more than aware of the Holocaust and racism before I ever came to America: there are major mentions of the Holocaust in Nepali poetry. I could have told you minor details from MLK's life when I was at high school 10,000 miles away. But most of that was intellectual. I got introduced to the emotional structure of racism in America coupled with anti-Semitism by way of a young Jewish woman: Elizabeth.

There was no sex or alcohol that night. But we did spend the night together next to each other naked. On the same floor only a few feet away was an Afghan guy from a refugee camp in Pakistan and a young Hispanic Indian woman, I think from Peru, Indian as in indigenous. They were not naked, but they were in embrace too. That night became fodder for all sorts of rape stories and insinuations for the rest of my time in that town.

Coming face to face with the emotional superstructure of anti-Semitism hit me hard. I come from a part of the world that has major caste, ethnicity and gender issues. But this new beast I was seeing was really something. It had its own unique character. The intensity of it was unsettling.

I took a stand against anti-Semitism in Kentucky where there are no Jewish people, there are no Indians. I had no money, no power, just the strong instinct to take the stand, and I did. I bet my college career on it. I don't know if I am a college dropout or a high school dropout: I think I am both.

And so I am not taking shit from any Jewish person in NYC. No Jewish person who was born, who grew up in NYC that I might have come across in the city's political circles has taken the high risk stand against anti-Semitism that I have taken. I humiliated the WASP college president on stage at the graduation ceremony and proceeded to make small talk with the Jewish Dean standing two steps away: "Thanks for giving me that extra year." Thousands watched.

Political Consciousness, Or The Caste Ladder

If you do the political consciousness thing, if you are a downtrodden people, you make effort to forge alliances with other downtrodden peoples. Madhesis and Jews are allies. Women and minorities are allies. You are essentially trying to build a progressive coalition that is less about identity and more about issues. Making progress on race and gender is not an anti white male agenda.

But if you do the caste ladder thing, you just end up with a whole bunch of infighting. Who is above? Is the Italian guy above the Jewish guy? Is the Indian guy at the bottom? Maybe not. Indians got huge global numbers. And we are also moving fast on money.

I tried to do the political consciousness thing on a string of white women in Kentucky, they as a rule stuck to the caste ladder thing and inflicted major pain.

History

Where does this anti-Semitism come from? It all goes back to Jesus. Jews put Jesus on the cross, and the Christians are still angry. Does not matter that Jesus himself was a Jew, and that is how they did capital punishment back in the days. Why do Christians do electric chairs today, I wonder.

Christians are not "perfected Jews" any more than women are people who wish they were men.

Just Say No

Black people like sex, Jewish people like money, and the rest of us are monks. For anyone to say or suggest Jewish people like money falls in the same category as the n word. It is not to be tolerated. I am the one who likes money, that is who. Utter social intolerance for expressions of anti-Semitism has to be cultivated. That has to be one of the progressive goals. Just say no.

Milk Gone Bad

I have seen WASPs react to the very term Jewish like you utter the word, and somewhere in the WASP mind milk just went bad. Are you Jewish can be a loaded question both ways. I have seen grown Jewish men try to hide their Jewish identity even when hiding is not possible.

The Buffer People

If you think about it, the Jewish people are neither western nor nonwestern. Anti-Semitism can be cured just like polio could be cured. The world owes itself to cure anti-Semitism. The day the world cures anti-Semitism is the day the huge gulf between the west and the rest is no longer there. Curing anti-Semitism is not to be a favor to the Jews but humanity's favor to humanity.

Okay so Jesus died. So what? That was a long time ago.

Holocaust, Childhood Trauma

Murder falls in the category of childhood trauma. Holocaust was millions of murders methodically perpetrated by a sophisticated state machinery. That makes for enormous trauma. And it was not that far back in time at all. The pain is for real, and it is there. The gutsy thing to do is to deal with the pain the right way.

You have to relive all your past experiences that might have bothered you and you have to vent your feelings about them. That applies to childhood trauma, that applies to the Holocaust. Reliving the Holocaust means learning all facts about the same. And then you have to get angry and express that anger in legitimate ways. And you have to do it collectively.

The Future

A total spread of democracy across the Arab world the mass movement way like in Nepal in April 2006 is the best answer to Israel's security concerns. I say fuck the Saudi family.

I don't know more about the Jewish heritage, religion, culture than your average Jew. Heck, I know little. But I will go head to head with anyone, Jewish and otherwise, in terms of the Jewish political predicament and the possible plan of action for the future.

The Jewish Identity In New York City

In The News

Clinton Wins in Landslide in West Virginia U.S. News & World Report Clinton swept nearly all demographic groups and won overall by a 2-to-1 margin ..... Clinton would score a net gain of no more than a dozen delegates ....... she will stay in the race at least until the final primaries conclude on June 3. ..... five contests left, with a total of 189 delegates—in Kentucky and Oregon next Tuesday; Puerto Rico June 1, and Montana and South Dakota June 3. ...... Obama, however, is strong in Oregon, Montana, and South Dakota. .... The DNC rules and bylaws committee will meet May 31 to consider the Florida and Michigan situation.
Obama’s Michigan Trip New York Times
Obama Defeat Signals Race, Rural Problems CBS News two-to-one margin, one of the widest margins of the primary season. ....... Behind her, a young man waved a bowling pin - a symbol of the cultural distance between Obama, who bowls poorly, and the state’s working-class white voters. ...... let the West Virginia results pass without comment.
Despite West Virginia, Obama wins more Democratic grandees AFP she will fight on through the five remaining primaries. ...... Obama Wednesday won the support of three more superdelegates -- an Indiana congressman, a Democratic student leader and the chairwoman of Democrats Abroad. ....... Pundits had been near-universal in declaring the race to be over .... 60 percent of Democrats want Obama to pick Clinton as his vice presidential running mate ..... Obama leads Clinton by every metric -- pledged delegates, superdelegates, popular vote tallies and number of nominating won. ..... The Democrats as a whole were celebrating after grabbing a rock-solid Republican congressional seat in the southern state of Mississippi.
Should Obama Worry About W.VA? TIME one in four Clinton voters in West Virginia said race was an important factor in their vote ....... national polls suggest trouble for the GOP in almost every state ...... Democrats recently seized congressional seats in conservative districts in Illinois and Louisiana; last night, they grabbed a Mississippi seat that Bush carried 62-37. ....... tailored her campaign towards the "beer track" after Obama started drubbing her among wine-trackers ...... once the nomination is decided, she won't play the spoiler: "I will work my heart out for the Democratic nominee." ....... asked Obama if he would launch another "national conversation about race," as President Clinton did. And Obama said: No. "I'm less interested in a conversation about race in the abstract," he said. "All the self-flagellation, it's not useful. African-Americans get all riled up, and whites get defensive."
How Second Life Affects Real Life the qualities you acquire online — whether it's confidence or insecurity — can spill over and change your conduct in the real world, often without your awareness ....... subjects using good-looking avatars tended to display more confidence, friendliness and extraversion, just as in the real world: they approached avatar strangers within three feet, and in conversations tended to disclose more personal details. Ugly duckling avatars, meanwhile, stayed five and a half feet away from strangers and were more tight-lipped. ....... People with tall avatars (three or four inches taller than the stranger avatar) negotiated more aggressively than the short ones, while short avatars were twice as likely as the tall ones to accept an unfair split — $25 versus $75.
Obama Targets Battleground States CBS News state Democratic leaders proposed a plan to give Hillary Clinton 69 delegates and Obama 59. Obama said the proposal was a legitimate solution to the problem, but the Clinton campaign rejected it last week.
Clinton's West Virginia Win Won't Cut Obama's Lead (Update1) Bloomberg
Mixed results for Clinton in new poll Boston Globe
Hillary Clinton may need Barack Obama's help with her campaign debt Los Angeles Times a $21-million debt, half from her own pockets ........ having raised more than $240 million. At the end of March, he had $51 million in the bank. ....... She could use the $22 million in general election money to help fund an Obama-Clinton ticket in the fall campaign, election law experts say.
Will Obama Help Pay Off Clinton’s $25 Million Campaign Debt? MTV.com
Look for Clinton to exit after last primary MarketWatch
Victorious Clinton vows to fight until 'everyone' is heard Los Angeles Times

Clinton status puts focus on her $20 million debt The Associated Press Clinton will have to deal with her campaign's more than $20 million debt — a step that could test her relationship with Barack Obama and raise new issues in campaign finance law. ....... Among her options is transferring that debt to her Senate campaign committee and paying it off with contributions to her 2012 re-election effort. ....... the answer lies with Obama and his vast network of contributors. ..... Clinton would have only until the Democratic convention in late August to raise money to cover her loan. After the convention, she could only raise up to $250,000 toward paying it off. ........ Clinton has raised more than $22 million for the general election. If donors approve transferring any of that money to the Senate committee, some lawyers said it appeared she could use it to pay off the debt.
Clinton Deadline Looms for Recouping $11 Million Personal Loan Bloomberg prevents candidates who drop out of the race from raising money after the nominating conventions to repay themselves for personal loans. ......... Obama, 46, is keeping the door open to the possibility of helping pay her debt, which includes more than $10 million in unpaid bills to vendors and consultants ....... Penn, to whom she owed $4.5 million through March 31. ...... She has between now and the convention to raise money to retire the loan or else she will have made an $11 million contribution to her campaign
Top 10 Reasons Obama Defeated Clinton for the Democratic Nomination Huffington Post fifteen months ago, conventional wisdom viewed Obama as an audacious long shot. The very idea of a first-term African American senator with a name like Barack Obama defeating the vaunted Clinton machine seemed preposterous. ........ he insisted on one key rule: no drama. There was little of the infighting and division in the Obama operation ......... Penn's divisive leadership style and failures as a strategist doomed the campaign organization to dysfunction ......... he mistakenly believed that California had a "winner take all" primary. Obama's team hunted for delegates in every nook and cranny of America ........ Obama ran an active, on-the-ground campaign in every contest, from California to Guam. ...... The Clinton campaign had no fall-back plan when it failed to capture the nomination on February 5. There was no money, no organization and no plan to contest the states that lie in the land beyond Super Tuesday. ......... Obama ran the best field operation in American political history -- particularly in the all important Iowa Caucuses. ....... opened offices everywhere, hired and trained great staff, and managed through simple, streamlined structures ..... developed structures to integrate and effectively use volunteers, both on the ground and through the Internet ........ developed highly sophisticated new Internet tools to allow volunteers around the country to participate meaningfully in voter ID and get out the vote operations. ....... massive fundraising operation ..... one-and-a-half-million donors ...... almost one of every ten Obama primary voters (so far there have been 16.3 million) will have made a financial contribution to his campaign. That is beyond unprecedented. ........ message has been consistent from Day One ....... hope and inspiration ........ She didn't hesitate to play the fear card .... she never managed to inspire and resolve that fear into hope. ......... America's overwhelming hunger for unity. Americans - and particularly young Americans - are sick of Republican appeals based on the things that divide us, particularly race. It isn't 1988 anymore. A whole generation has passed from the scene and been replaced by young people who simply don't get the passions that allowed the fear of "Willie Horton" to decide the 1988 presidential race. ............ most importantly, they want change in the way special interests dominate Washington .... Mark Penn, the consummate lobbyist-insider himself embodied the very thing people believe is wrong in Washington. ....... Inspirational, articulate, brilliant, funny, attractive and naturally empathetic - his history as a community organizer, his experience abroad, his beautiful family, accomplished wife, and adorable kids ......... While the Clintons represented the Bridge to the 21st Century, Obama is the 21st century. His own, multi-cultural story is the future of America. As the campaign tested him, he showed he was cool, deliberate and effective under fire. ....... historic, transformational leader ....... the American President who leads the world into a new progressive era of unprecedented possibility.