Barackface: tariff war

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Sunday, August 10, 2025

Operation Tandoor: Game On

Operation Tandoor

Episode 1: The Great Chapati Council

INT. BANQUET HALL – EDISON, NEW JERSEY – NIGHT

A giant banner reads:
"Annual Tri-State Tandoor & Spice Suppliers Gala"
Below, 200+ Indian restaurant owners sit at round tables. Steam trays line the walls, but tonight, they’re cold and empty — a symbolic protest.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
America has been brought to its knees by a single executive order: Trump’s new tariffs on Indian imports. But tonight, in the heart of New Jersey’s Little India, the most powerful spice lords in the Western Hemisphere are plotting… revenge.

CUT TO:

STAGE – MC, MR. RAJIV “RAJU” PATEL (late 50s), legendary owner of Raju’s Roti & Revenge, taps the microphone.

RAJU
Brothers, sisters… and that one guy from Connecticut who just came for the free gulab jamun… welcome to The Great Chapati Council.

(polite applause, someone shouts “Jai Masala!”)

RAJU (cont’d)
We face a crisis. These tariffs will ruin us. Cardamom prices are through the roof. Mango pulp costs more than printer ink. And don’t even talk to me about basmati rice.

MRS. PALLAVI SHARMA (40s), owner of Paneer Palace, slams her fist on the table.

PALLAVI
Enough is enough! The Americans survived a tea tax revolt; now they shall taste… the curry tax revolt.

INT. BANQUET HALL – CORNER TABLE

BOLLYWOOD-STYLE SLOW-MO as men and women whisper dramatic phrases:
“Half operations…” “Cold ovens…” “Weaponized naan…”

YOUNG OWNER, AMIT DESAI (late 20s) leans in, speaking in mock-spy tone.

AMIT
Code name: Operation Tandoor. For every day Trump keeps those tariffs, we shut down half our ovens. No tandoor, no naan. America runs on carbs — they’ll crack in a week.

OLD UNCLE BHUPINDER (70s), sipping chai, nods gravely.

UNCLE BHUPINDER
During the Emergency in India, we smuggled pamphlets in tiffin boxes. This… this will be easier.

CUT TO:

RAJU
But we must communicate securely. No more phone calls. No email. Only one place is safe…

ALL (chanting)
WhatsApp group!

MONTAGE: "MASALA RESISTANCE" WHATSAPP CREATION

Profile pic: crossed rolling pin and ladle over a saffron background.
Group description: “Keep calm and hide the cumin.”
First message: “Namaste comrades. Let’s make America spicy again.”

INT. BANQUET HALL – LATER

PALLAVI
To launch Operation Tandoor, we strike on Friday night. Peak dinner rush. No naan. No butter chicken. Let’s see if America can survive on plain salad.

AMIT
We’ll need code phrases for reporting progress. “Extra naan” means full ops, “triple masala” means half shut, “paneer party” means total victory.

UNCLE BHUPINDER
And if Trump caves? We send him a basket of gulab jamun with a note: “Sweet deal.”

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And so, with their plan set, the Great Chapati Council prepared for battle — not with swords or guns, but with the most powerful weapon of all: withholding carbs from Americans.

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: The Butter Chicken Blackout"
Quick flashes: crying customers at buffets, CNN anchors mispronouncing “vindaloo,” and one senator begging for garlic naan on live TV.

Operation Tandoor

Episode 2: Butter Chicken Blackout

INT. VARIOUS INDIAN RESTAURANTS – ACROSS AMERICA – FRIDAY NIGHT

A rapid-fire montage:

Bombay Palace in Chicago. Customers stare in disbelief at a chalkboard:
“Butter Chicken — OUT OF STOCK (Blame the tariffs)”
Curry Kingdom in Los Angeles. Waiter whispers apologetically, “We have tofu… shaped like chicken?”
Saffron Dreams in Dallas. One Texan tourist yells, “BUTTER CHICKEN IS MY BIRTHRIGHT!”

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Friday night. Operation Tandoor’s first strike. And America’s #1 comfort curry… has vanished.

INT. BOMBAY PALACE – CHICAGO

CUSTOMER #1 (middle-aged man clutching menu)
You’re telling me I drove forty minutes… for dal?

WAITER
Sir, dal is the food of kings.

CUSTOMER #1
Kings with low cholesterol maybe.

INT. CABLE NEWS STUDIO – CNN

ANCHOR (serious tone)
Our top story tonight: a sudden nationwide shortage of something called… (checks notes) “Butter Chicken.” For more, we go to our food correspondent in New Jersey.

FIELD REPORTER – LITTLE INDIA STREET
(shouting over the crowd) Behind me, chaos! Lines outside Raju’s Roti & Revenge stretch for blocks, only to be turned away empty-handed. Some customers are calling this “the chickenpocalypse.”

INT. PANERA BREAD – RANDOM SUBURB

Teenagers are huddled at a corner table, scrolling TikTok.

TEEN #1
Dude, this is going viral. Look — hashtag #ButterChickenBlackout has 2 million views.

Cut to: a meme of a crying toddler in a high chair captioned:
“Day 1 without butter chicken. Send help.”

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Pallavi Sharma: “Dallas customers chanting ‘No curry, no peace!’”
Uncle Bhupinder: “Minnesota guy tried to bribe me with Packers tickets.”
Raju: “Good work team. Phase 2: remove chicken tikka masala from lunch buffets.”

INT. FOX NEWS – NIGHT

HOST
Folks, this isn’t just about food. This is about freedom. Today it’s butter chicken. Tomorrow it could be cheeseburgers.

Split-screen: angry talking head vs calm culinary historian.

HISTORIAN
Actually, butter chicken was invented in Delhi in the 1950s—

HOST
Don’t Delhi-splain me!

INT. WHITE HOUSE DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Trump sits with aides. In front of him: a microwaved frozen butter chicken meal from Trader Joe’s.

TRUMP
It’s not the same. Not even close. They’re trying to make America sad again.

AIDE
Sir, maybe we should—

TRUMP
No! We tariff harder. Double the cumin tax. Triple the turmeric tax. I love turmeric, but they’ll pay for this.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But the Masala Resistance was just getting started. If America thought a butter chicken drought was bad, they hadn’t seen what happened when paneer disappeared.

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: Paneer Panic"
Quick flashes: empty grocery store shelves, Wisconsin farmers googling “how to make paneer,” and a Senate intern sobbing into a block of cheddar.

Operation Tandoor

Episode 3: Paneer Panic

INT. GROCERY STORE – LITTLE INDIA, JERSEY CITY – MORNING

Camera pans across completely empty dairy shelves. A single handwritten sign reads:
“NO PANEER. STOP ASKING. WE ARE NOT HIDING IT (WINK).”

CUSTOMER #1
You’re telling me there’s no paneer in the whole city?

SHOP OWNER
There’s paneer… but it’s under resistance custody.

CUSTOMER #1
So… like… in a fridge somewhere?

SHOP OWNER
(deadpan) Or in the heart of every patriot.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Pallavi: “Mission Paneer is live. Cheese vault secured.”
Uncle Bhupinder: “My basement smells like a dairy exploded. Victory.”
Raju: “Remember, deny everything. If asked, it’s ‘seasonal fluctuations.’”

MONTAGE: THE GREAT PANEER VANISHING

Brooklyn hipsters filming themselves opening organic grocery fridges in disbelief.
A Wisconsin dairy farmer googling “how to make paneer” while muttering “I don’t get it, it’s just… cheese?”
News footage of long lines outside Indian grocery stores, people holding placards: “GIVE PEACE A CHANCE, GIVE PANEER A CHANCE.”

INT. CNN PANEL – NIGHT

ANCHOR
The nationwide paneer shortage is now in its third day, with tensions rising. Joining us: a chef, a trade economist, and a guy who just really likes saag paneer.

GUY WHO LIKES SAAG PANEER (tearfully)
I haven’t had my greens with cubes in three days. My salad feels… incomplete.

INT. WISCONSIN STATE CAPITOL – CHEESE EMERGENCY SUMMIT

Politicians and dairy execs sit around a table, maps of the U.S. covered in red “No Paneer” zones.

GOVERNOR
If we can just pivot some of our cheddar production—

DAIRY EXEC
Ma’am, cheddar can’t handle curry. It… it melts.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE HEADQUARTERS – RAJU’S BACK OFFICE

RAJU (holding a block of paneer like it’s the nuclear football)
Every cube of this is leverage. The more they suffer, the closer we get to victory.

PALLAVI
Do we… ransom it?

UNCLE BHUPINDER
Not yet. Let the hunger for cubes grow.

INT. SENATE HEARING – C-SPAN

A banner reads: “Committee on Dairy Imports & National Security”.

SENATOR 1
What even is paneer?

SENATOR 2
It’s like tofu, but happier.

SENATOR 3 (into mic)
Is it true that the tariffs caused this?

WITNESS – DAIRY SCIENTIST
Yes, Senator. Tariffs on India increased prices of imported dairy enzymes, which—

SENATOR 1 (interrupting)
No, no. I mean… how do you spell it?

INT. WHITE HOUSE – NIGHT

Trump sits at the Resolute Desk, scowling at a grilled cheese sandwich.

TRUMP
This… this isn’t paneer. I don’t know what it is. But it’s not paneer.

AIDE
Sir, maybe we should—

TRUMP
No. Triple the tariffs. No more cumin, no more coriander. We’ll break them before they break us.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But the Masala Resistance wasn’t done. If America thought missing cheese cubes was bad, they were about to lose their most precious carb…

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: The Naan Shortage Hearings"
Quick flashes: senators eating tortillas as a substitute, protest signs saying “Naan Violence,” and a viral video titled “Americans try to pronounce kulcha — fail miserably.”

Operation Tandoor

Episode 4: The Naan Shortage Hearings

INT. U.S. CAPITOL – COMMITTEE ROOM – DAY

A giant banner hangs over the hearing room:
“Emergency Session: Congressional Inquiry on Bread Access”

Reporters fill the press section. C-SPAN’s lower-third reads:
BREAKING: NAAN CRISIS ENTERS DAY 10

SENATOR McGRIDDLE (R-Texas) (pounding gavel)
This hearing will come to order. America is a bread-loving nation, and right now… we are breadless.

SENATOR ALVAREZ (D-California)
Technically, we have bread. We just don’t have naan.

McGRIDDLE
Which, for many Americans, is the bread.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Pallavi: “C-SPAN is calling it Breadgate.”
Raju: “Keep ovens cold. They’re squirming.”
Uncle Bhupinder: “Just saw a congressman eat a tortilla with curry. Disgraceful.”

INT. HEARING ROOM – WITNESS TABLE

CHEF ARJUN SINGH, chef-owner of Naan Stop Glory, sits with folded arms.

SENATOR ALVAREZ
Chef Singh, tell us how we got here.

CHEF ARJUN
You taxed our imports. The price of imported atta wheat went up 40%. We retaliated… by withholding naan.

SENATOR McGRIDDLE
That’s bread blackmail!

CHEF ARJUN
It’s gluten diplomacy.

INT. WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM – SAME DAY

PRESS SECRETARY (reading statement)
The President understands Americans are hurting. He too has been forced to eat his chicken curry with… (checks notes) Wonder Bread.

Room of reporters groans audibly.

MONTAGE: AMERICA WITHOUT NAAN

A couple in Portland holding hands over a sad bowl of curry and rice.
A BuzzFeed headline: “We Tried to Make Naan at Home. Now We’re Divorced.”
Street protest signs: “NO JUSTICE, NO NAAN” and “KEEP CALM AND BRING BACK BREAD”.

INT. HEARING ROOM – AFTERNOON

SENATOR ALVAREZ
Chef, what will it take to end this crisis?

CHEF ARJUN
Simple. Roll back the tariffs.

SENATOR McGRIDDLE
Impossible. We have to protect American bread farmers.

CHEF ARJUN
There are no American bread farmers.

(Awkward silence. Senators check notes.)

INT. FOX NEWS – NIGHT

HOST (angrily gesturing to bread chart)
Folks, first they take our butter chicken. Then our paneer. Now… they’ve come for our bread. What’s next? Forcing us to eat salad?

INT. WHITE HOUSE – NIGHT

Trump is pacing. On the table is a pizza crust shaped into naan.

TRUMP
It’s close… but not the same. We need to stop this. Or… we go full garlic bread sanctions.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But before garlic bread diplomacy could even begin, the Masala Resistance took their fight directly to Washington’s doorstep…

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: Curry on the Hill"
Quick flashes: congressional staffers eating boiled potatoes, lobbyists hiding samosas in briefcases, and a senator trying to drink a mango lassi during a filibuster.

Operation Tandoor

Episode 5: Curry on the Hill

INT. CAPITOL HILL – LOBBYING LUNCHROOM – NOON

Tables are set up for a big “India-US Friendship Luncheon.” Senators and staffers stream in, expecting trays of steaming curry, naan baskets, and fragrant basmati rice.

Instead…
Each plate contains:

One scoop of plain white rice.
One boiled potato.
A paper cup of room-temperature tap water.

SENATOR ALVAREZ (D-California) (to aide)
Where’s the saag paneer? The butter chicken? The naan?

WAITER (deadpan)
Sir, this is an authentic tariff-era Indian meal. Imported spices are… unavailable.

SENATOR McGRIDDLE (R-Texas) (gasping)
No curry? This is un-American.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Raju: “Lunch on the Hill served. No masala, no mercy.”
Pallavi: “They’re eating plain potatoes. This is our Gettysburg.”
Uncle Bhupinder: “One senator asked if ketchup counts as curry.”

INT. SENATE OFFICE – PRIVATE MEETING

A group of desperate lawmakers huddle with lobbyists from the “American Curry Council.”

LOBBYIST
Look, you want your naan back? You roll back the tariffs. Simple.

STAFFER
But the President—

LOBBYIST (slams folder on table)
The President can’t eat another Trader Joe’s frozen korma without crying. You have leverage.

INT. OUTSIDE CAPITOL – STREET FOOD SCENE

A single Indian food truck, Tikka Tikka Boom, remains open. The line wraps around the block — half senators, half interns.

FOOD TRUCK GUY (whispering to customer)
Extra cilantro’s five bucks. Keep it quiet.

INT. C-SPAN BROADCAST – HOUSE FLOOR

Representative from Ohio takes the podium, holding up a jar of garam masala like it’s a holy relic.

REPRESENTATIVE
We must act before this spice famine destroys the very soul of our nation.

Cut to: confused congressman from rural district mouthing, “What’s garam masala?”

MONTAGE: THE SPICE-LESS LUNCH PROTEST

Senators poking sad rice piles with forks.
A staffer sneaking a samosa from their bag, hiding it in a file folder.
Protestors outside chanting: “HEY HEY, HO HO, THESE TARIFFS HAVE GOT TO GO!” while holding curry-scented incense sticks.

INT. WHITE HOUSE – EVENING

Trump watches a Fox News segment titled “The Curry Crisis”.

TRUMP
They’re weak. They’ll cave. Nobody can go more than three days without tikka masala. Not even me.

AIDE
Sir, you haven’t.

TRUMP (glares)
That’s classified.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But before Congress could even vote on a resolution, the resistance took the fight to the internet — and turned America’s kitchens into smoke-filled war zones.

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: The TikTok Tikka Challenge"
Quick flashes: kitchen fires, teens holding burnt skewers, and a senator wearing an apron that says “Make Curry, Not War.”

Operation Tandoor

Episode 6: The TikTok Tikka Challenge

INT. TEENAGER’S BEDROOM – DAY

A phone screen lights up: TikTok.
An influencer with purple hair and a kitchen apron says:

INFLUENCER
The restaurants are closed, the curry’s gone… so we’re making our own chicken tikka until the tariffs are lifted. Welcome to the #TikTokTikkaChallenge!

They shove marinated chicken into a toaster oven.
The toaster oven sparks.

CUT TO: Text overlay: “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. SERIOUSLY.”

MONTAGE: TIKTOK TIKKA MAYHEM

A frat house using a hair dryer to “char” chicken.
A suburban dad grilling skewers… on a car engine.
Grandma in Florida holding up a bowl of soup saying, “Is this tikka?”
Smoke alarm symphony: beep… beep… beep… across America.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Pallavi: “Our plan is working. America is choking on its own smoke.”
Raju: “One guy on YouTube made tikka with peanut butter. Humanity is lost.”
Uncle Bhupinder: “Just saw a senator in an apron. God help us.”

INT. FOX NEWS – EVENING

HOST
Folks, the TikTok Tikka Challenge has gone too far. One man in Kansas tried to make curry in his bathtub.

Cut to: blurred photo of bright orange liquid in a tub.

HOST (cont’d)
And they wonder why property values are dropping.

INT. SENATOR McGRIDDLE’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

The senator is live-streaming to his constituents:

McGRIDDLE
This is for freedom, folks. (gestures to raw chicken) We don’t need imports!

He throws the chicken into a frying pan — without oil.
It sticks instantly.
Live comments flood in:

“IS THAT DRY???”
“CALL 911”

INT. CNN – VIRAL NEWS SEGMENT

ANCHOR (laughing)
The challenge now has 500 million views worldwide and a reported 3,000 minor kitchen fires. Fire departments in several states have issued advisories titled “Chicken Tikka Is Not Worth Your House.”

INT. WHITE HOUSE – OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

Trump scrolls TikTok on an iPad, watching a teen attempt to marinate chicken in Mountain Dew.

TRUMP
We’ve got to stop this. Or join it. Does anyone have skewers?

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But while America’s kitchens burned, a new underground service was emerging — one that would take the spice war to a whole new level.

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: Mango Lassi Diplomacy"
Quick flashes: Secret Service agents sipping smoothies, coded messages in foam art, and a Pentagon intern caught in a “lassi sting operation.”

Operation Tandoor

Episode 7: Mango Lassi Diplomacy

INT. SHADY PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT

A black SUV idles. A man in a trench coat looks around nervously.
Another car pulls up. The trunk pops open — inside, dozens of mason jars filled with golden mango lassi.

DEALER (whispering)
Two jars for fifty. Three if you promise to vote against the tariffs.

A suited CONGRESSIONAL AIDE hands over cash. They clink jars like champagne glasses.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Raju: “First D.C. drop successful. Targets satisfied.”
Pallavi: “Agent Kulfi reports the House Majority Whip likes his lassi extra sweet.”
Uncle Bhupinder: “Careful. Too much cardamom and they get suspicious.”

INT. PENTAGON – BREAK ROOM

Two generals sit at a table sipping lassi from paper cups.

GENERAL 1 (whispering)
This stuff’s contraband now?

GENERAL 2
Apparently, yes. I had to get mine from a food truck in a back alley.

INT. WHITE HOUSE – OVAL OFFICE – MORNING

Trump sits at his desk. An aide brings him a glass of milk.

TRUMP (suspicious)
Is this… regular milk? Or… is it lassi?

AIDE
Regular milk, sir. The lassi shipments keep getting intercepted.

TRUMP
We need to crack down. Double the yogurt patrols.

MONTAGE: THE BLACK-MARKET LASSI NETWORK

Smoothies in unmarked brown paper bags being handed off outside Capitol Hill.
Lobbyists sipping from thermoses marked “Herbal Tea.”
A Secret Service agent pretending to “check IDs” while sneaking a sip.

INT. CNN – INVESTIGATIVE REPORT SEGMENT

ANCHOR
Tonight, we expose “LassiGate” — an underground mango lassi operation flooding Washington’s political elite. Are politicians being… sweet-talked into policy change?

Cut to: grainy hidden camera footage of a senator drinking from a straw with blissful abandon.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WAR ROOM – BACK OFFICE OF RAJU’S ROTI & REVENGE

Pallavi
They can resist losing naan. They can survive without paneer. But mango lassi… that hits the soul.

Raju
Exactly. We’ve got them hooked. Tariffs will crumble before their teeth do from all the sugar.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But just as the lassi rivers began flowing, another crisis bubbled up — one involving fried triangles of destiny.

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: The Samosa Smuggling Ring"
Quick flashes: TSA agents holding up samosas like contraband, briefcases full of chutney packets, and a Senate aide whispering, “I can get you two samosas… but it’ll cost you.”

Operation Tandoor

Episode 8: The Samosa Smuggling Ring

INT. JFK AIRPORT – TSA SECURITY LINE – DAY

A TSA AGENT holds up a foil packet, suspiciously sniffing it.

TSA AGENT
Sir… is this…?

PASSENGER (sweating)
Just… a pastry.

The agent peels back the foil, revealing a golden, perfectly fried samosa. Gasps from the line.

TSA AGENT
We’ve got a 10-4. Repeat: fried contraband.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Raju: “Airports on high alert. Stick to train stations.”
Pallavi: “DC drop successful. Congressman hid samosas in a folder marked ‘Tax Code Revisions.’”
Uncle Bhupinder: “One senator paid in chutney packets instead of cash.”

INT. UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT

Two lobbyists exchange a briefcase.
The briefcase clicks open… revealing neatly stacked samosas, still steaming.

LOBBYIST #1
Two dozen vegetable, six lamb. You didn’t see me.

LOBBYIST #2
I didn’t see anything.

MONTAGE: THE SAMOSA CARTEL

A Maryland suburb’s PTA meeting where parents pass samosas under the table.
A “bake sale” at the Supreme Court steps selling only spinach puffs — except they’re samosas.
A delivery drone dropping a samosa-filled lunchbox onto the Capitol lawn.

INT. CNN – BREAKING NEWS SEGMENT

ANCHOR
Federal authorities have uncovered a samosa smuggling ring allegedly linked to the ongoing Masala Resistance. Experts say samosa deprivation has reached “critical levels” in some states.

Cut to: a crying man in Ohio saying, “I’ve been eating Hot Pockets for a week. It’s not the same.”

INT. SENATE HEARING – DAY

SENATOR McGRIDDLE (waving a samosa in a plastic bag)
This… this is the real enemy. Fried, seasoned, delicious…

SENATOR ALVAREZ (snapping)
Stop waving it around! We haven’t had lunch yet!

INT. WHITE HOUSE – SITUATION ROOM – NIGHT

Generals, cabinet members, and Trump sit around the table.
On the big screen: a map of America with red “SAMOSA SHORTAGE” zones.

GENERAL
Sir, we’re losing the Midwest. They’ve resorted to eating microwaved pizza rolls.

TRUMP
This is worse than the chicken thing. I liked the chicken thing. But the samosas… the samosas hurt.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And hurt they did. But before America could recover, the President himself was about to enter the spice war — with a Twitter meltdown for the ages.

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: Trump Tweets About Tandoori Tyranny"
Quick flashes: Trump in all-caps rage, meme storms across social media, and a Photoshopped White House covered in naan bread.

Operation Tandoor

Episode 9: Trump Tweets About Tandoori Tyranny

INT. WHITE HOUSE – PRIVATE RESIDENCE – 3:12 A.M.

A dark bedroom, lit only by the glow of a phone.
Trump sits upright in bed, wearing reading glasses and a “Make Curry Great Again” T-shirt. His thumbs fly across the screen.

CUT TO: TRUMP’S TWITTER FEED – LIVE

“INDIAN RESTAURANTS ARE TRYING TO BLACKMAIL AMERICA!!! CULINARY TERRORISM!!!”
“NO BUTTER CHICKEN? SAD! I MADE THE BEST BUTTER CHICKEN. EVERYONE SAYS SO.”
“IF I WANT TANDOORI, I WILL GET TANDOORI. BIGGEST TANDOORI. BELIEVE ME.”
“FAKE NEWS SAYS SAMOSAS ARE GOOD FOR YOU — WRONG! BUT I MISS THEM SO MUCH. :( ”

Within minutes, #TandooriTyranny trends worldwide.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Raju: “He’s losing it. We’re in his head.”
Pallavi: “Post the meme.”
Uncle Bhupinder: [sends image of Trump Photoshopped as a naan bread with the caption ‘NAAN-SENSE’].

INT. FOX NEWS – EARLY MORNING

HOST
The President has unleashed a 14-tweet thread overnight, calling this ‘the worst famine in U.S. history.’ Our panel will now debate whether tikka masala is even Indian or secretly British.

Split screen: culinary historian vs. angry caller from Florida.
CALLER
I don’t care who invented it! I just want it back!

INT. CNN – MORNING NEWSROOM

ANCHOR
Twitter is melting down today after President Trump accused the so-called “Masala Resistance” of orchestrating a bread-based coup. Meanwhile, memes are flooding the internet…

Cut to:

Trump’s face deep-fried into a samosa with the caption “Executive Order 65: Deep Fry Everything.”
Animated GIF of naan bread slowly crushing the White House.

INT. WHITE HOUSE – OVAL OFFICE – DAY

AIDE
Sir, your approval ratings are actually up among people who want more Indian food.

TRUMP
Then we make a deal. We’ll give them… one naan… for every vote.

AIDE
That’s not how trade works.

TRUMP (ignoring)
Call it the Great American Naan Pact. Sounds strong.

MONTAGE: SOCIAL MEDIA CHAOS

TikTok teens lip-syncing Trump’s tweets to Bollywood songs.
Reddit threads with recipes titled “How to make naan in a crisis”.
Instagram influencers posting glam shots with captions: “Thoughts and prayers for the naanless.”

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But just as the Twitter war hit fever pitch, the tariffs were about to crumble — not from politics, but from the smell of one dish too powerful to resist.

CUT TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Next Time on Operation Tandoor: The Big Vindaloo Victory"
Quick flashes: Trump biting into curry with tears in his eyes, naan ovens roaring back to life, and Americans lined up for free samosas like it’s Black Friday.

Operation Tandoor

Episode 10: The Big Vindaloo Victory

INT. WHITE HOUSE – OVAL OFFICE – DAY

A silver serving dish is placed on Trump’s desk. Steam rises. The unmistakable, fiery aroma of vindaloo fills the room.

TRUMP (sniffing, eyes widening)
What… is that smell?

AIDE (nervously)
Sir… the Masala Resistance sent it. Along with a note: “End the tariffs. Or never taste this again.”

Trump stares at the dish like it’s the nuclear football.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE WHATSAPP CHAT – PHONE SCREEN

Pallavi: “Package delivered. Operation Vindaloo in motion.”
Raju: “Ovens ready. If he signs, naan flows within the hour.”
Uncle Bhupinder: “I added extra chili. That man will see God.”

INT. WHITE HOUSE – LATER

Trump takes a bite. His face turns red. His eyes water. He reaches for water, misses, and grabs a mango lassi instead.

TRUMP (gasping)
Get me the trade people. Now.

INT. ROSE GARDEN – PRESS CONFERENCE

Trump steps up to the podium, flanked by chefs in aprons and senators holding naan baskets.

TRUMP
Today, in the name of spice and national harmony, I am rolling back tariffs on Indian imports. Nobody makes curry like India. Nobody.

Crowd cheers. A reporter yells, “Will there be free naan for all Americans?”

TRUMP
Yes. But only the good naan. Not the dry naan. The good naan.

MONTAGE: AMERICA REUNITED WITH CURRY

Lines around the block at Indian buffets, naan flying out of ovens.
College students doing “naan toss” competitions.
News anchors eating butter chicken live on air, nearly crying with joy.
A Pentagon briefing interrupted by a samosa delivery.

INT. MASALA RESISTANCE HEADQUARTERS – RAJU’S ROTI & REVENGE – NIGHT

Pallavi (raising a glass of chai)
To the Great Curry Standoff. May America never take spices for granted again.

Raju
And may the Chapati Council always be ready. Just in case.

Uncle Bhupinder
Next time… we target British fish and chips.

Everyone laughs. Fade out.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And so, Operation Tandoor came to a close — a reminder that in the battle of politics and palate, sometimes the stomach wins.

FADE TO BLACK
On-screen text:
"Operation Tandoor — The Complete Series Streaming Soon on CurryFlix"
End credits roll over footage of people hugging naan like it’s a newborn baby.